Full-time Mommy

Look at these two.  Just LOOK at them!  These are our kids. OUR kids...Mike and I, with the help of the good lord, made them and are raising these two people.  They're fantastic. 

I came to a big decision last week.  I literally within about 3 days time had total clarity...FINALLY....that it was time to leave my job. My profession that earns a paycheck that is.  Mike and I have each had two jobs since these two little people showed up...and I think we've juggled both really well, with the help of other wonderful people in our lives to help give them loving care while we're away from them.  But lucky for me, Mike's paid profession is enough to take care of all four of us. Also lucky for me, he totally supports me staying home with them.  So it's time...it's finally time!  And I can't wait...I CANNOT wait to devote all my time to spending with them.  And feel so blessed that it's even an option...one that now feels so silly to me that I hesitated to jump at earlier.  But for whatever reason, something held me back...and I'm ALL about trusting my gut. And now my gut says "YAHOOO!!!  Go for it!" Timing is everything.

The people I work with have been amazing and have brought me to tears with their support over this decision. An overwhelming response of "good for you! you don't get these years back! we'll miss you, but work will always be here! we hope you come back some day when you're ready!" 

It will have its challenges, and there are things I will miss from my job. And I have fears about not having the balance of both jobs, and I will have tough days in my new full-time job.  But just look at those two. Ben ecstatic that Mommy is taking him fishing. Brooke supportive to come along with us, as long as she has her snacks in that cooler there around her neck. And as I stop to take their picture, Brooke inches in and places her cute little arm around Ben. And Ben offers her a hug when she trips and falls down. Watching the two of them standing there embracing, I know I don't want to miss another thing!!!!!

Morning Surprise

Just when I think our kids can't make life any more entertaining......This is how I was woken up this morning:


Me: "Oh hi Ben!"
Ben: ...."Gum in the hair."
(Sure enough, big gob of gum in front of hair...suspiciously similar to his first-ever piece of watermelon bubblegum I gave him at like 2 pm yesterday.)
Me: "What?! BEN! How did that happen? How did you even have gum in your ROOM?"
Ben: "Mommmmeeeeee!  Get it OUT!"

We relocated to our bathroom where I propped him up on the counter to assess the situation.



And then I got the giggles.  Seeeeeeeriously child?! You're not usually the one to cause trouble.  I started trying to pull. And he said a lot of "OWWW" and "STOP!" so I decided to go get some of the peanut butter I'd heard can assist in these situations.  I just had to cut out some of the big chunks, rubbed the peanut butter around a bit to create a big mess.  Every couple minutes I'd pause and we'd both laugh.

Me: "Okay Ben, so what happened?"

Ben: "Well, I woke up, I put it in my mouth for a couple chews, and next thing I woke up this morning and it wasn't in my mouth.  I looked all around and couldn't find it, then thought, uh-oh......"

How he snuck it into his bed, where he stashed it, I'm not sure I want to know.  But I AM pretty certain he won't ever do it again! 

My Hero

Ohhhhhhh my Daddy. I can't go on with this blog until I talk about you, and I don't even know what to say, where to start. It's going to be sad and make me cry a lot, but it's MY blog and I can cry if I want to! We've all been doing really well for the most part...the first few days were tough of course, but we've all managed to pick ourselves up and carry on. Especially your amazing wife...oh she is so, so strong.  She'd have to be to go through what you two went through these last few years.  She's been preparing for this to come, and she's going to be just fine. We all will. But I still hurt for you....those last few hours and days are forever etched in my mind, as much as I try to focus on the good times in years before that. As much as we tried to prepare ourselves that the time was coming, there really is no way to be ready to let you go.

I hate that you had to go through what you did. While I was always happy to see you and be able to give you a hug, it always hurt to walk through that door and see you that way. Why you? Why PSP? Somebody on that last day said, and I can't remember who it was, "probably because he could handle it when other people can't." Probably. It's a miserable disease, and Kari and I both agreed that we suspect we'd be really pissed off at the world if we were no longer able to eat or drink, no longer able to walk, to talk. But you somehow always managed to be so pleasant, SO kind. All of the hospice workers and caregivers ALL had that to say about you..."what a sweet, sweet man." You took it all on and never gave up, when so many people would have long ago.

I miss you, I always will. And I love you very much, always will. I'm going to work really hard at putting together my favorite experiences with you and focusing on those. I am SO proud I have such an amazing man to call my Daddy...you were so brilliant, you taught me so much about the world, and you made me feel loved. You weren't one to say it, but you didn't have to, and for that I consider myself very blessed. xo

Life with Girl and Boy

Today's one of those days full of too much good material to not blog. If I hit that pillow these things may be gone for good and I know I will get many a good future chuckles if I get them down. Oh where to start.  First, the shortest to tell and maybe the sweetest, Brooke out of nowhere today busted out, "I love Ben. He's my boy." Yup...he is, and he will always have yo' back sistah. She even did a little shoulder shrug along with it, "he's muh boy."

She's been prancing around in a new "ballerina" dress I got on sale at Old Navy along with some little pink ballet slippers.  EVERY day she wears them.  I think it's been like 4 in a row, and it's getting dirty and needs to be washed, and tomorrow is the day I will finally tear it away from her to do so. Anyway, she INSISTS she be called "Angelina Ballerina" (PBS if ya dunno) and that I'm "Grandma". Not sure about that part. But if I slip and call her Brooke I'm corrected, and if my ears don't perk to "Grandma" she is sure to let me know. Anyway, along with this get-up is a little wand she's had for a while and it's part of the "show". By the way today she asked for me to bring our full-length mirror downstairs so she can watch herself dance during the "show" and oh, it's a show alright. At one point during it I heard a frustrated siiiiiggggh, and uuuugggggh, and then "this wand is bwoken. When I do my spells the spells don't work.  Seeeee?  I think it needs new battewies Mom."  I tried to get her to let me snap this picture of her and the wand, and when she protested I had the idea that maybe we need to take a pic of the wand, and e-mail it to the "Queen fairy princess" to see if SHE had any ideas. "ohhh! okay ya sure!" Yes, I am brilliant.  And no, we haven't heard back from her. 

Tonight we read a story that had a princess and a dragon in it (Brooke's choice) and when she got scared about the fire from the dragon's mouth I told them that dragons are just pretend and only in stories.  To which Ben replied, "Right. Except Puff the Magic Dragon."  To which I tired to set him straight and he said, "Noooo Mommy!  He is real!  He lives in Honah Lee!" After I stifled my chuckle I asked where that was and he said, "Well I don't know, but he's real." Okay honey. 

It's a big day for Ben tomorrow.  He's starting Mighty Mites hockey. We've spent FAR too much money getting him registered and buying him the FULL gear necessary for him to live out his dream.  But, just the excitement and watching him look at his stoic reflection in the fireplace glass has made it worth every penny and he hasn't even hit the ice yet. Luckily my only contribution was getting him signed up over the phone, and Mike took him into TWO different places to find all the gear. The program provided the stuff like jersey, shorts, socks, gloves; we have to provide stick, helmet, skates, mouth guard, and jock strap.  Yes, I just typed jock strap.  For my 4 year old son. I am SO glad I was not in on that purchase. Mike even told me they "tested it out" with a little punch to the privates in the store and all was well.  I am clearly not mature enough for any of this.  Nor can I keep myself from giggling at this moment thinking of how Mike told me when they went walking into the store Ben said, "HEY DAD DO YOU THINK WE CAN BUY A WEENIS GUARD HERE?!"

So, we have hockey for the first time in the morning, assuming I can get the 10 or so pieces of gear in place, including said "guard". Mike has to miss it so made us do a "practice round" today. Second, his "wife" Olivia that I blogged about here is having her birthday party tomorrow. I knew when I saw the invite in his mailbox at school that there would be a big ol' shy smile when I told him, and I was not disappointed.  I've told him for a couple days to think about what he wants to get her, but he really wasn't much help at Target tonight.  Mostly just picked out Pokemon cards and Transformers which I'm pretty sure a 4-year* old girl wouldn't be too keen on so we settled on a cool little jewelry box she can color and decorate with stickers, and a book. And I have to put a * by the 4 because her husband isn't 100% that's how old she's turning. She's in the class below him, but he's in the kindergarten class at 4 so it all is very confusing.  But when I asked he was like, "Ya, wait. She must be turning 5. Noooo, 4? So she's 3 now?  That can't be right....."  I think he was having some robbing-the-cradle guilt going on. He said he would ask her tomorrow, I informed him that would be a tragic mistake by a husband, and we'll just hope there's some obvious sign. I was very much looking forward to taking him to the party to see their interaction for myself, but then he basically broke my heart today by saying he wants Dad to take him.  FINE.  He's probably worried mom will be all "weird" and "overbearing" and say something to embarrass him in front of the in-laws, and knows dad will just keep to himself in typical Mike fashion. FINE. But I get first dance at their wedding.

Snow Day!!!!!!

I had one of my favorite days home with the kids that I've had in a while yesterday.  I couldn't have been happier to hear a big snow storm was going to hit on my day off. As my Boise peeps know, we haven't seen much if any at all and it's mid-January! The kids and l ran to the window when we got up just to sit and stare at the big flakes coming down for a while. We started out by first taking all the cushions off the couches. (?) Heck why not, I wasn't ready to head outside at 8 am anyway.  I suppose they wanted to practice their skills of running and jumping and fort building before we took those skills outside.

(That blur in the middle is Brooke jumping off a chair into the pile.)

Oscar loved our new arrangement, and the kids smothered him with love as we lazily lounged and giggled and chatted. For a long time. Loved it.

One of the highlights of the day (and well my life so far) was when I said something to Brooke and she replied:
"You don't need to call my Brooke Mommy, just call me Princess. Say this Mommy: 'Princess, would you like a treat?' " 
Wow. Just wow. Then she did this:

 

Man how I love that kid.

It was looking like this outside, we'd eaten breakfast, yup...I think it was time. 

We put on way too many clothes, including mittens which as usual come off about 10 minutes in, their hands get wet and cold, and mittens go back on. Repeat. Repeat.  But we made and threw lots of snowballs and got lots of smiles like this:
 

 

AND, they kids wanted to try out their new sled that Santa had brought them so with the 2 degree slope we have in our backyard I was able to use my heavy self to pad the snow so that Ben could take a few runs down it:

More playing, then Brooke got hungry (shocker) and we were all cold so headed in. Special treat with lunch to warm our cheeks was hot cocoa with marshmallows. And straws of course.

 See? Cold red cheeks.

After some more playing we were still kinda chilly and getting kinda sleepy, so we arranged the cushions into a big bed and turned on the fireplace for a half hour of movie watching before naptime. Oscar tried to take my spot, he's obviously sleepy too.

And more Oscar Doggie loving. Can't even tell you how many times Ben's said lately, "Mommy? I love Oscar."  Pinch.

I love that Ben is willing to take on some of the Oscar petting duties now. Know what else I love?  That that rocker and that cradle you see in the background were mine as a kid and my kids love them just as much as I did!  Thank you to my mom for hanging onto them all those years.


When the kids headed upstairs I MAY or may not have curled up on that bed in front of that fire for a little snooze of my own.  Seeeeee?  Awesome day right?!  I loved it, and I love them!