Retirement

Today marks 2 months since I "retired", as Mike likes to call it. I'm not sure if this new job of full-time cook, entertainer, chauffeur, (I'd like to put "cleaning lady" in there, but let's be real) is what I hope to experience in "retirement", but I have to say it's pretty great nonetheless. Ben's at kindergarten Mon-Thurs from 8-12 and while it's a total circus act trying to get out of the house dressed and fed by 7:50, Brooke and I usually come back and walk in the house and let out a big siiiiiiigh while we try to figure out what the rest of our morning will hold. She's a pretty easy little sidekick to have, and is usually up for whatever mommy wants/needs to do that day. Grocery shop, work out, small amounts of cleaning (really-it DOES happen. sometimes), and sometimes an activity geared toward Brooke whether it's a play date, dance class, or trip to the library. Then we are always excited to head back to school at 11:50 to pick up Ben, hear about his morning, and head home to have some lunch together. Both kids still need a little resty-poo in the afternoon, or even more so- MOM does! They usually wander into my room after about an hour or so and we lay in our bed and giggle and then with Mike going into work at 7, Dad's home by 4:30! 

I'm one lucky, spoiled and blessed Mommy. Even on days that try my patience in a major way, which is when Mike takes over when he gets home to let me go have some time to myself, I can't imagine still working those four days a week and what I'd be missing out on.  Here's something I suspect I MAY have missed out on:

Brooke, wandering down after getting dressed today and announcing, "Mommy, I put on TWO pairs of panties today. Just to keep my pee-pee-er EXTRA toasty warm". 

I can't make this stuff up. 

Running Partners

The other morning I pulled a FIRST and got up to go for a run BEFORE Mike left for work. That meant 6:30, which is unheard of for me! But I did it, and got my 4 miles in.  When i got home at 7:20 the kiddos were just getting up and came and sat with me on either side (sigh) on the back patio while I cooled off.  Ben said, "I sure wish I could go on a run", and Brooke said, "me too!" So I said, "we can!  You want to?  Let's do it today!"  This also was a first for us, and while I was so excited that they showed such interest, I didn't think it would last long since Brooke can't usually walk 50 yards without complaining! 

So, 11:00 rolled around and I decided we better do this if we're going to do it.  Brooke went to her room to find the perfect "running outfit", to which she did pretty good with a little athletic skort and t-shirt.  We put on running shoes...of course. Ben announced his goal was 5 miles, Brooke thought 2 sounded about right.  Okay...we better stretch then!

We set off, and to make it super "official" I even used the app on my iPhone that I run with, giving them updates on our time and how far we'd gone.

Taking time to point out the playground, flowers, doggies...this girl knows how to stop and smell the flowers!

They both did SO WELL.  Not a single complaint and I hate to admit, I was shocked.  Equally shocking was when we got home my phone said we'd gone just shy of a half a mile!  In 7.5 minutes!  Not bad for Brooke's wee legs.

The next day...our friends Maggie, Luke, and Sarah were coming over.  Ben had said, "I bet I can do TWO laps and make it a mile!  I told him that I knew Luke would be up for the challenge...he's 6 and training for the Olympics. :)  Sure enough, after dinner the kids all got on their sneakers and off we went!  First loop (half mile) in 5.5 minutes!  We had improved our min/mile rate by 2 minutes!  However before Sarah reached the half mile she took a dive and got a bloody nose...not happy. Brooke and I hung close to help out, but the boys were off for a second loop and sure enough, completed a whole mile in right around 11 minutes! 

I think we're on to something! 

Full-time Mommy

Look at these two.  Just LOOK at them!  These are our kids. OUR kids...Mike and I, with the help of the good lord, made them and are raising these two people.  They're fantastic. 

I came to a big decision last week.  I literally within about 3 days time had total clarity...FINALLY....that it was time to leave my job. My profession that earns a paycheck that is.  Mike and I have each had two jobs since these two little people showed up...and I think we've juggled both really well, with the help of other wonderful people in our lives to help give them loving care while we're away from them.  But lucky for me, Mike's paid profession is enough to take care of all four of us. Also lucky for me, he totally supports me staying home with them.  So it's time...it's finally time!  And I can't wait...I CANNOT wait to devote all my time to spending with them.  And feel so blessed that it's even an option...one that now feels so silly to me that I hesitated to jump at earlier.  But for whatever reason, something held me back...and I'm ALL about trusting my gut. And now my gut says "YAHOOO!!!  Go for it!" Timing is everything.

The people I work with have been amazing and have brought me to tears with their support over this decision. An overwhelming response of "good for you! you don't get these years back! we'll miss you, but work will always be here! we hope you come back some day when you're ready!" 

It will have its challenges, and there are things I will miss from my job. And I have fears about not having the balance of both jobs, and I will have tough days in my new full-time job.  But just look at those two. Ben ecstatic that Mommy is taking him fishing. Brooke supportive to come along with us, as long as she has her snacks in that cooler there around her neck. And as I stop to take their picture, Brooke inches in and places her cute little arm around Ben. And Ben offers her a hug when she trips and falls down. Watching the two of them standing there embracing, I know I don't want to miss another thing!!!!!

Morning Surprise

Just when I think our kids can't make life any more entertaining......This is how I was woken up this morning:


Me: "Oh hi Ben!"
Ben: ...."Gum in the hair."
(Sure enough, big gob of gum in front of hair...suspiciously similar to his first-ever piece of watermelon bubblegum I gave him at like 2 pm yesterday.)
Me: "What?! BEN! How did that happen? How did you even have gum in your ROOM?"
Ben: "Mommmmeeeeee!  Get it OUT!"

We relocated to our bathroom where I propped him up on the counter to assess the situation.



And then I got the giggles.  Seeeeeeeriously child?! You're not usually the one to cause trouble.  I started trying to pull. And he said a lot of "OWWW" and "STOP!" so I decided to go get some of the peanut butter I'd heard can assist in these situations.  I just had to cut out some of the big chunks, rubbed the peanut butter around a bit to create a big mess.  Every couple minutes I'd pause and we'd both laugh.

Me: "Okay Ben, so what happened?"

Ben: "Well, I woke up, I put it in my mouth for a couple chews, and next thing I woke up this morning and it wasn't in my mouth.  I looked all around and couldn't find it, then thought, uh-oh......"

How he snuck it into his bed, where he stashed it, I'm not sure I want to know.  But I AM pretty certain he won't ever do it again! 

My Hero

Ohhhhhhh my Daddy. I can't go on with this blog until I talk about you, and I don't even know what to say, where to start. It's going to be sad and make me cry a lot, but it's MY blog and I can cry if I want to! We've all been doing really well for the most part...the first few days were tough of course, but we've all managed to pick ourselves up and carry on. Especially your amazing wife...oh she is so, so strong.  She'd have to be to go through what you two went through these last few years.  She's been preparing for this to come, and she's going to be just fine. We all will. But I still hurt for you....those last few hours and days are forever etched in my mind, as much as I try to focus on the good times in years before that. As much as we tried to prepare ourselves that the time was coming, there really is no way to be ready to let you go.

I hate that you had to go through what you did. While I was always happy to see you and be able to give you a hug, it always hurt to walk through that door and see you that way. Why you? Why PSP? Somebody on that last day said, and I can't remember who it was, "probably because he could handle it when other people can't." Probably. It's a miserable disease, and Kari and I both agreed that we suspect we'd be really pissed off at the world if we were no longer able to eat or drink, no longer able to walk, to talk. But you somehow always managed to be so pleasant, SO kind. All of the hospice workers and caregivers ALL had that to say about you..."what a sweet, sweet man." You took it all on and never gave up, when so many people would have long ago.

I miss you, I always will. And I love you very much, always will. I'm going to work really hard at putting together my favorite experiences with you and focusing on those. I am SO proud I have such an amazing man to call my Daddy...you were so brilliant, you taught me so much about the world, and you made me feel loved. You weren't one to say it, but you didn't have to, and for that I consider myself very blessed. xo